So Many Things!

As I am writing this, I am looking down at my hands. The skin on them is beginning to resemble the shell of snakeskin after they shed. I am sure the ever present loss of estrogen has something to do with it- as well as the dry and cold weather we are having. (In Florida, mind you!)
I have so many things running through my head at present that I can barely keep up with my thoughts. My very dear aunt is in her final stages of lung cancer. I can hardly stand to think of it as she is such a beloved person. She and I have always been close- not sure if it's because we are both the oldest of our families but whatever the reasons, I love her as much as I love my mother. I feel an overwhelming grip of sadness for the entire situation. Her daughter, my cousin, has always been like an older sister to me. She is an only child and is watching her Mother fade away. My heart breaks for her..then there's my nearly 91 year old Grandmother who is losing her oldest child. I cannot fathom how she is feeling at this point. My own dear mother is leaving today to be beside her sister. They have always been 2 peas in a pod. While I know that my mother has accepted the facts, her heart is breaking as well.
My daughter is expecting our second grandchild in a month or so. She will then be moving to upstate New York. These are the happy things in my life that I am hanging on to at the moment. Not to mention that our 25th wedding anniversary is this week. Loving someone for a quarter of a century is indeed an accomplishment.
My Dad died at the beginning of January and that stirred up a variety of emotions. He was an emotionally distant person with a passle of problems- some real and some simply brought on by his own stubborness and self-will. He, unlike my Aunt Shirley, died alone and with ill feelings in his heart. He played his hand the way he wished and I have let go of any guilt that I may have felt. I did what I was supposed to do as a daughter- he did not reciprocate as a father. That was a shame for him.
It's just been a whirlwind in the Nanny household but I am trying desperately to keep myself in check.
I am expecting daughter and grandson at any moment to spend the week-end with us. I have fruit snacks, gummy worms, raisins, new crayons and coloring book, new sippy cup and lots of energy stored up for Gian. He is a wonder and brings us much joy. I can pat my daughter's tummy and talk to my granddaughter. I need to encourage her not to come too early like she tried to last week-end! My son-in-law is military and is currently having to live away from them in Virginia. It's been tough on them all around but that's the military life.
Job is going well and although our hours were cut, I am among the very fortunate that still have a job and paycheck. That is a huge thing to be grateful for.
Ta ta for now and have a great week-end!!!