Ramblings and General Observations

This past week was relatively normal. Work, home, walking, bla bla bla. Trying to get into a regular exercise routine. My back has been unusually sore but I attribute it to a very bad chair at work. I bought one of those pads that are supposed to help your lower back but it doesn't seem to make a lot of difference.
I took myself on a date yesterday. I went a bit south of here to some thrift stores that I like. Found quite a bit of winter clothing for the grandchildren- some new with tags. Got a few things for myself and only spent a grand total of $20. The main thrift was packed. I suppose in these economic times that many are turning to thrift stores for their clothing, etc. I've always been a fan.
I went to Mass yesterday for the first time in months. I like to get there early and observe people. A lot of older couples attend the Saturday afternoon Mass and I watch them as they hold hands during the Lord's prayer. It is very touching. I imagine that many of them have retired to Florida after living their lives elsewhere. I want to ask them questions like how many children they raised, where they lived, was she a stay at home mom, what was life like in the 50's and early 60's raising a family? I should start interviewing folks and write a book as this generation will pass and I won't get a chance. I notice some women alone as well as men. The men look lonelier than the women. Women seem to travel in pairs or more. Men tend to sit alone and look sad.
We didn't get any trick or treaters last night but we haven't for years now. Since our own children and their neighborhood friends grew up, it's been quiet on Halloween.
Woke up not feeling well today as I've got a tooth that needs to be filled. I lounged around most of the day and then decided to run by the store for a couple of things. I don't usually go to Winn Dixie but today I did. There is only one left in this area . I enjoyed watching the people stopping in still dressed in their church finery- especially the African America clientele. They really do dress sharp for church- hats, heels for women and the men looked so dapper in their suits with matching hats.
I am now sitting here hungry but afraid to eat much so as not to disturb the hurting tooth. I may have to close the left side of my mouth for a bit and only eat on the right side.
Tomorrow- back to the grind. Have a good week, all.

Change of Life

There are more connotations to that phrase than I ever realized. Not only am I feeling the physical parts of it as a middle-aged woman but have recently been dealt the pangs of empty nest syndrome.
I never thought that I'd be one of those people who wishes her children were still at home. Not only do I wish they were at home, I wish they were little again. I think it's the Fall season that gets to me the most. I miss holding little hands and going trick-or-treating. I miss going to their school for carnivals, I miss listening to them read aloud - I just miss them, period. I suppose if I didn't like them, it would be easier.
The house seems so big and quiet at night. Sometimes hubby doesn't feel like chatting with me so I retreat to watch mindless TV or read.
I can typically ward off this feeling but I feel that this past year in particular has been one emotional upheaval after another. Perhaps it's all finally catching up to me - along with the empty nest feeling. Too many deaths and a lot of emotion.
Our youngest stopped by the house last Sunday en route from Miami back to Gainesville. It was all I could do not to throw myself at his feet and beg him not to leave. It's pathetic, I know. However, he will be home this week-end for 3 entire days so I will have a fix. Maybe I'll dress him up and take him around the neighborhood trick or treating. :)

Back on Patrol

I guess it suffices to say that I've been "out of it" for the last few months. My last post reported the car accident and subsequent related info.
Hubby and I went ahead and took our planned trip to New York and Montreal. We had a marvelous time and I chose to deem it our honeymoon as we never got to have one when we wed over 25 years ago. The weather was great, being with our family was great and the food was out of this world. I catch myself going on the Schwartz's Deli website just to reminisce over the fabulous food that we had there. We did bring some smoked meat back to the US to share with our daughter and family as well as our family here in Florida.
Once back from my dream world, I had to find a job and pronto. The unemployment checks were helpful but not quite covering the whole kit and kaboodle.
We had a family wedding to attend on September 13th (which was also my birthday)and I had a scheduled interview the day after. It is coincidentally right next door to the firm that laid me off. I still get to see my friends next door- how cool is that?
I did take a pretty good pay hit but I am glad to have a job. The first week was spent with my eyes glazed over trying to get used to a new place,different accounting software, etc. The company has a VP and a General Manager. The VP was pretty rough going in but has mellowed. Bonus fact is that he is retiring in December. The General Manager is near my age and we get along great. I just have to hang in there.
Hubby celebrated his 65th birthday on October 4th. Seems so strange- when I met him, he was in his 30's and I was in my 20's. Time flies!!
Grandchildren are thriving and enjoying a nice, cool fall. Hey, why aren't we having a nice, cool fall??? No fair!
My leg has just about healed 100% from the accident. It was a little rough on vacation as I couldn't walk very far or for very long but it has come a long way.
I will forever feel bad for folks with leg problems. I found myself trying to judge the distance between parking spaces and store entrances during my recovery. I should have gotten a temporary handicap sticker as I sure could have used one.
Life is overall treating us well. I am supposed to get a salary increase after 90 days which will bring us up to broke status instead of broke minus. ha ha
Happy Fall !

Vacation

I know, one doesn't usually take a vacation after losing a job. However, we already had tickets and our daughter and her family were expecting us.
Will write more details upon our return home. Nanny has had a wonderful time.

Running Oneself Over- Literally

Last Monday started out as a pretty good day. Went to a couple of places and left resumes, spoke with a person in the personnel department of a local municipality and finished off with a stop by our local Job Link for a couple of referrals. For some of the jobs in this county, you must have a referral from them to even apply.
Later in the day husband and oldest son came home to do some auto repairs on son's old clunker of a truck. They decided to use "The Beast" , aka my husband's Suburban, to push the clunker up onto the ramps. They accomplished their mission and began to do whatever it was they were going to do. I noticed that the Beast was still running so told husband that I'd turn it off for him. As I reached in to do so, it started rolling down our driveway. I wasn't sure what was happening but knew that I was being taken with it. Husband was shouting "jump" but my feet were getting tangled up in the planters that line our driveway. Finally, I was able to break free and landed in a big pile at the bottom of our driveway. The Beast kept going and managed to take out our mailbox and a small tree before coming to rest on our neighbor's palm tree. It was like a surreal dream where you realize it's all happening but there's nothing that you can do to stop it.
Husband and son came to try and pick me up off of the ground- I told them to just wait and let me lie there for a bit--I was enjoying the sunshine through our bushes!
I really wanted to make sure that my legs were not broken. I gradually stood up and saw blood and wounds but was thankful that there were seemingly no broken bones. They escorted me as I hobbled in to wash my wounds and maybe cry where no one could see me.
I came back out and realized what damage had been done to the Beast. This is a huge vehicle that can take on just about anything---however, this little trip took out the driver's side door, smashed the back window and damaged the rear folding door.
I'll bet State Farm has never had a claim quite like this one!
I've made a couple of trips to the doctor for X-rays and wound cleaning, etc. It's truly been a crazy week. I am really hoping that things can settle down for a bit and get somewhat back to normal. I don't need any more excitement in the Nanny household.

Self-Doubt

I think the biggest part of transition (at least in my case) is self-doubt. I hear it's little voice inside my head saying "You can't do it- you'll never succeed in a new job- they are on to you- give it up." I tell it to go away and leave me alone- I hear my father's voice telling me that I could have done better instead of telling me that he's proud that I did my best. I feel the nausea in the pit of my stomach at the thought of going to a job interview and trying to sell myself at the age of 49.
I'd like to hand them my resume and say, " Here's my experience, do with it what you will. Hire me or don't- I really don't give a damn. I am tired and not up to playing the game."
However, this approach will not likely open too many doors! :)
I must fight the negative voices inside my head and listen instead to my positive ones of which there are many.

In Limbo

I've been laid off since July 29th. The first couple of days weren't too bad- had Avon to deliver and little errands to run. Filed for unemployment and tried to get over the shock that I had lost my job. Also worked on getting past the ill feelings that I have towards my bosses. I think they made a bad business decision by getting rid of me. They have the habit of being reactive rather than proactive- hence their financial difficulties. However, I did not make a fuss when they gave me the news. I need them for a reference and there is a chance that they will call me back in a month or so. At that time, I will have to decide if I want to go back into the mess that will surely still be there.
Begin week #2- hubby and son went to help a friend with some tile work. They left the house around 8 am and I was alone. I am not used to being home during the week unless I am ill. It's a strange feeling. Most mornings I've been awake by 5:30 or 6 am. I did the usual tidying up ,emptied the dishwasher, did a few loads of wash and then THUD. I've had coffee with friends, made several trips to our local library, (movies are free and I've enjoyed that) sent out more job applications and resumes than I care to count. There are jobs out there in my field but the pay is much, much less than what I am used to making.
I did receive notification that my unemployment benefits have been approved. I have the joy of filing for my first week this coming Tuesday. It's less than half of what I was bringing home but I am happy to have it. So far, we are doing alright financially. We had scheduled a trip to New York to visit our daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren. Hubby wants to proceed with the trip since we've already purchased our tickets. I think the trip would do us both some good. We'll just have to be careful with our spending while away.
If I don't have a job to return to before we leave, I guess Labor Day will be a turning point for this job seeker.
Keep a good thought for me--it's tough at nearly 50 to be doing this .

***If anyone is interested: www.youravon.com/adibiase

You can order online and have products delivered to your door.